Saturday, 16 February 2013

Wednesday 13th February......
My journey to five countries has begun with my first port of call being Dubai a seven hour fifty minutes journey from Heathrow T3
Tonight it's a sleepover at Sofitel T5 with an early morning shuttle to T3
I travel alone to meet DOS man for Valentines' Day

Saturday, 2 February 2013

The clock went back today....... We were invited to The Hard Rock Hotel which is located less than five minutes from our hotel The Golden Parnassus 
09:45........ The sun was already beating down on us mere creatures. It's hard to believe that not so long ago (several hours ago to be exact) torrential rain was pounding its fierce fist against our balcony intent to keep us awake........ But now, now, it's just a distant memory
The front reception of the Hard Rock Hotel was very impressive indeed, a large version of inside of The Hard Rock Cafe....... Memorabilia of past and present Rock 'n' Roll stars were visibly displaced

We were enjoying the view until we realised that the invitation was merely a ploy for those grubby 'Timeshare' parasites........ Needless to say, we retreated immediately to the reception and exited out of there like ' Speedy Gonzales'
We made our way back to The Golden Parnassus and just before we got to the reception......
"Hello......can you help us?"
"Can you help us?"
Our gaze was directed to where the repetitive shriek was coming from, three floors above, to be exact
Standing outside their balcony were two middle aged women, waving their arms, trying to get our attention 
"We've locked ourselves out of our room!" Bellowed one
" Can you please kindly tell them at reception?" Asked the other
" Yes sure" replied DOS man
"What's your room number?"
"Three four two!" Came the reply
And sure enough, DOS man, like a knight in shining armour to the rescue of the damsels in distress, headed towards two staff at the reception
"Hola......... Just to report that there are two woman locked in their room"
A bemused look had settled on the faces of both staff
" Their room number is three four two and I believe they've locked themselves out"
"Gracias"
"No problem"
We then made our way to the breakfast room for a light breakfast
"You're our heroes!" 
I turned and there in front of me, stood one of the women, her hand gently touching my right arm
"Thank you very much, you were wholesome," 
Yep! They're American.........from the U.S of A
" You're welcome" I smiled
We're now relaxing on the beach soaking in the sun and enjoying one of Mother Nature's beautiful seas,'The  Mexican Caribbean Sea'
Every now and then, a waiter comes by
" Hola.......more Pinacolada/Sangria/Tequila etc.......
"Si, .......... Mango punch, Por favor
And that's how we spent several 'excruciating hours' being harassed by our waiter, soaking in the 'awful' sun, swimming in the 'terrible' three tone sea and playing volleyball on the 'disgusting' white beach 
This is really tough........ But somebody's got to endure it, and
 I guess it's US!
I instructed DOS man to take some photographs of me frolicking in the sea, initially posing with my red and white Nike sunglasses until the waves decided to hijack them....... 
And now........
I'm f****** p***** with Mother Nature
I am now one sunglasses short, my 'Playboy' white sunglasses is now alone.......the only thing to protect me from the sun rays!
We unanimously decided to dine at one of our sister's restaurant this evening, booked our shuttle and then chauffeur driven to The Great Parnassus.......just the two of us, DOS man and I    

26 Oct 
A trip to the Flea Market is amongst our list of 'Things to do today'
First, we decided to take a shuttle to our sister hotel, 'The Great Parnassus' a ten minute ride from 'The Golden Parnassus', had lunch, shuttle back to our hotel and made our way to the bus stop, hopped on the bus for a dollar each to the Flea Market
The Flea Market was A BIG MISTAKE!
Why?
We were HARASSED from beginning to end"
An endurance, to put it mildly
Across the road was the Hard Rock Cafe, so we took solace there and ordered our 'poison' and listened to a great live band, used the free WiFi and admired the surrounding memorabilia 

Friday, 1 February 2013


Went to the karaoke night and plucked up to sing Dame Shirley Bassey's 'Big spender'
To say that there's a warrant for my arrest is an understatement 
Why?
I hear you ask!!
For murder..........
I KILLED the song!!!!  

20:45....... We made our way to 'The Barn' restaurant. 
"Welcome......... How many?"
"Two"
We were led to our table 
The waiter pulled out the chair for me
"Gracias"
Next came the menu
DOS man chooses nachos for starters, steak and rice for mains and apple pie for dessert 
I chose ceaser salad for starters, prawn on a bed of salad and rice for mains and cheese cake for dessert washed down with piƱa colado 

Took a local bus to the shopping mall for some 'sneekers' for our rock climbing adventure later in the week
Passed the 'Rock Cafe' hotel, 'Planet Hollywood' 'Zara' and 'Mac'
Walked out of Zara's
Why?
The dress I bought last week from the Westfield, Stratford branch cost forty nine pounds and the one here in Cancun, Mexico?
Seventy f****** pounds!
Rip of Britain........ I mean, Rip of Mexico!!!
 17:30...... A stroll to the spa room for my eighty minutes 'Wayak' treatment
A couple of minutes welcome and paying the 100 USD before being led to the charging room
I was politely told to undress, handed a white dressing gown with the spa emblem on the top left and a pair of white slippers
"this is the key to your locker"
She hands me the key
"Mucho Gracias"
"Let me know when you're ready"
"Yes"
She disappeared and I was left alone in the changing room
I undress and swapped my day wear for the dressing grown and sippers
"Finished"
And like magic, she appeared and led me to the massage parlour 

We were transferred to a deluxe king size bed apartment with a front view of the lagoon
DOS man booked me for a 'Wayak' spa treatment this evening
It cost 100 USD for a eighty minute treatment 
From there we went to see our Mexican   representative 
Three trips booked in total
Captain Hook pirate dinner (Monday 22 Oct)
Coba Maya Encounter (Wednesday 24 Oct)
Xcaret All day ecological park.... Known as Nature's sacred paradise  (Friday 26 Oct)