I was texted some bad news this morning
An ex of yesteryear has passed away!
It may have been a long time ago when we first met at Stratford Theatre Royal (myself and a friend had gone to see a play at the theatre and Colin was in it)
We got chatting during the interval and it went from there. Six months relationship developed and he always had time for every fan that stopped to talk to him, be it in the pub or restuarant
He had a kind soul and always spoke about his son (he was a young boy at the time)
He was the first one to introduce me to the Bermondsey area)
Colin Tarrant, what can I say..........
It was nice to have met and known you
RIP x

We arrive at Stratford station at eight forty eight and proceeded to the next and final destination, London Liverpool Street station, stopping for a split second to let another train pass by
We arrive, according to the driver, 'on time' at London Liverpool Street station......
All change!

08:42......... Finally made it to Maryland station and now waiting for the eight forty five
08:45......... The National Express to London Liverpool street station arrives on time, stops, opens its mouth fresh with Monday morning freshness about it
I am sat beside a middle aged woman reading from her Kindle e-reader (just like mine)
Opposite us are cummiters of the opposite sex. One has his arms folded and in Noddy land, the other is wrapped up in hat, gloves and scarfe

Today, Saturday twenty eigth of Janurary twenttwelve is Holocaust Memorial  Day
The holocaust happened in Germany during a time of economic depression and because certain behaviours were tolerated, even encouraged
It didn't just affect people of the Jewish faith
The Nazi Regime encouraged discrimination against many of the groups we now consider as 'Protected' under the law, for example; people with disabilities or differing races
We all have a duty to create a safe place to work and live 

On my way to London Liverpool Street station I noticed a 'Vintage' shop and popped in for a rammage
Don't get me wrong, I do love rammaging through old designer classic fashion wear..... But I wouldn't call all of them 'vintage' more 'secondhand'

On second thought....... Maybe not!

I'm wondering........ If I told a little lie by serving as my own.......

Stopped at Troy Bar situated at 10 Hoxton Street London N1 6NG
Why?
I treating the family with a West Indian takeaway supper tonight:
Jerk chicken
Curry goat
Steam fish
All served with seasoned rice and peas, sweet plantain and salad
Troy Bar also has Live Latin Fusion, Salsa, Samba and Calypso night and many more

An apology for the late running of the train was passed on by the driver
NOT F***^^^ ACCEPTED MATE!

An empty train whizzes by from platform three
And as I was loosing faith with National Express...... The same annoucement filters through the tannoy...... The arrival of the 'eight forty five' finally arrives at eight fifty seven
Twelve f****** minutes LATE!
I remember my yoga breathing technic and begin to slowly breath in, slowly breath out
Stratford station has past by.....slowly breath in, slowly breath out
I'm sat sandwiched between two male commuters who are speaking a language I don't recognise.......slowly breath in, slowly breath out
London Liverpool Street station is in sight.........slowly breath in, slowly breath out!

08:35...... Delayed and arriving at eight forty four
It arrived alright but alas...... No room at the inn!
"There's two more on its way" said the train driver, his head sticking out of the now closed and ready to go train
8:47......... Two (non stopping)trains have passed
The b****^ driver LIED!!!
Another non- stopping train goes by then......
"The next train on platform one is the eight forty five" a female voice via the tannoy
"I don't f****** think so!"
And just has the announcement end...... TWO...... Yes! Two b**** trains whiz by!

Sods law....... I'm on the train that's not moving
I see two other trains leave 
A sudden outburst came from a middle-aged woman standing opposite me
"I don't f****** believe it!" she sighed loudly as the first train leaves its platform 
"B***** hell!" she puffed as another train leaves its platform 
She then gets her mobile out and begins to speak
"Hi, just to let you you that I'm having an awful journey..... What with problem at Epping now the f****** train at Stratford refuses to barge. Just one more........ For that final nail in the f****** coffin!"

08:34............ Waiting for the eight thirty five
08:35........ Train arrives, standing room only
I got off at Stratford and after alighting from going up the steps, going down some more steps, I make my way through barrier and join the queue to 'top up' my monthly oyster card 
Why? 
My monthly oyster card is for zone one to three and Hornchurch is zone six
"Sorry to bother you..... I'd like to top up my monthly oyster card' explaining further the reason why
"I can only top up the minimum of a fiver from here, otherwise you have to use the machines over there"
"I'd like a top up please"  
I pass a ten pound note and my oyster card through the gap and exchanged it for a five pound note, my oyster card and a receipt
"Thank you"
Through the barriers, up the steps, down the steps and onto the next available Jubilee line train from platform thirteen

08:15.......... I spent nearly five minutes with a staff member of Transport for London at Maryland station
Where the f*** do they come from?
How the hell did they manage to get this job?
"Sorry to bother you.......  I'm trying to get to Hornchurch today and I was wondering if you get give me the best route"
"Yes....... Hornchurch ...... Let me see......"
He reaches out for a train map and proceeds to open it, mumbling as he unfolds it
....... Hornchurch....... Aha!" he said, now looking up at me
...... Go to Stratford station, take the Jubilee line to West ham station, then take the district line to Hornchurch "
"Thank you"
"Or you can go to Romford and........ Or there's......
"thanks, I think I follow your first option...... Thanks again!"
And off I went....... Down the steps to platform one for the National Express train to Stratford 

Frustration at Liverpool station
Why?
For the first time since taking the National Express train.......
I see a packed concourse, commuters with heads raised up staring at the departure board
" Sorry for the delay to the National Express train due to overground cables at the Ilford area" announced the tannoy
Nnnnnooooooo!

17:00....... Left the office and brisk walked it to Liverpool station
I decided to trace the route a colleague had taken me sometime last week
Whilst at the traffic lights, I witnessed an altercation with a male driver and a male cyclist
The cyclist had touched the car by accident and.......
"What the f*** do you think you're doing?" shouts the driver sat stationed at the red traffic light
He had doubled his fist into s ball and was shaking it furiously out of his window
"Do you want me to get out of the car and........."
"Why?....... Is it because you've got a small dick?"

08:47........ On the eight forty five National Express to London Liverpool Street station
I'm sat in a carriage mainly full of men and all I can hear is.....
Blah! Blah! Blah!....... "Football"
Blah! Blah! Blah!......."ticket for the olympics"
Blah! Blah! Blah!....... "Wife wants to go to the Ideal Home Exhibition, she wants to get ideas"

9:35........ London Liverpool Street station

09:26........ On the train to Stratford then London Liverpool Street
" This is between you and me" a female commuter is heard saying on her mobile
"It's not to be repeated" she continues
"Blah! Blah! Blah!"
Now the whole of the b***** carriage know!
So I guess it's now between the female commuter, her caller and the commuters here!

The only good thing about setting off thus time of the morning is the lack of (little)people traffic.......
YES!
No ducking and diving, no bumping into prams and pushchairs

09:10...... Decided to have a lay in hence reason for just leaving my home now
I was met with rain, pounding at the door. I gave Mother Nature a stern look...... My 'We are not amused!' look

18:06...... After the announcement on the tannoy at the concourse at Liverpool Street station, I head towards platform seventeen for the 'twenty ten to Shenfield'
I am sat alone at the three by two nearest to the door
I feel the nights cold breeze against my neck
I am in a state of mild comotose after tonight's yoga class
All this....... Inhaling........ Exhaling and meditation......zzzzzzzzzz!

19:58....... Bethnal Green underground station, standing on the Central line platform waiting for the train to Liverpool Street underground station

Yoga is my practical approach to my self discovery

18:04...... I'm forty one minutes early for my yoga class
Why?
Because it's not nice being 'the late one!' having to sneak pass all of my classmates and getting a s**** space at the back of the room
I am sat on a bright orange sofa like thing in the ground, thumbing through a yoga book entitled 'Yoga..... Theory and practice for beginners and advanced students' by Inge Schops
......trying to find my quiet zone within

Because I left home slightly later, I encountered the brigade of 'Little people' on my way to Maryland station.....
When I say 'Little people' I mean 'school kids' 'brats' 'extra-terrestials!' 'Munchkins that should only be seen and not heard!'
Don't get me wrong.......I LOVE KIDS!......I just can't eat a whole one!

Although the carriage is packed, it is quiet, (one could almost hear a pin DROP!) apart from the shuffling of newspaper from the woman beside me as she turns the page over one by one.......I'm doubtful she's reading, merely looking at pictures.......In my opinion!
All around me are commuters with 'After week-end post depression' look on their faces and also in their sluggish standing/sitting position   

There are plenty of vacant seats, each one beckoning me over. I choose the one nearest to the door and sit beside a man
We arrive, next to no time, at Stratford....... The door slides open, the train spits out several commuters whilst swallowing new ones
The man besides me disembarked at Stratford and a young women replaces him..... Reading the free Metro newspaper
I glimpse at a headline.......
'Ten year old boy grows cannabis from home'
What the f****** hell is wrong with the world today!

08:43....... "The train now approaching platform one does not stop here, please stand well away from platform one"
There goes the train, whizzing by
The platform is now filling up and I wait near the platform's edge...... Giving me a quicker exit once at London Liverpool station

18:10..... The train leaves on time and makes its way towards Stratford station
I mentally wave my working week behind as I look forward to the weekend with love ones
A bespectacled young woman is sat next to me with her mobile glued to her ear planning her weekend with a friend
"What are you wearing tomorrow? She asks
And so on, and so on.......yep! You guessed that I'm not really interested in her conversation

18:06......... "Platform seventeen National Express to Gidea Park calling at Stratford, Maryland, Ilford Blah! Blah! Blah!" informs the female voice via the tannoy

17:58....... Standing at the concourse at London Liverpool station, waiting (in)patiently for my train
I don't recognise any of the many faces I see

The train is taking its time to get to Stratford station......... Yes! Both speed talkers are getting off at Stratford
There seems to be a lot if commuters getting on at Stratford
Come on Maryland station.... It's been a long day!

18:16...... On the eighteen twenty National Experss to Gidea Park
Two suited twentysomething 'Jack the lads' have joined me
"Blah! Blah! Blah!..... You know what I mean
"Forty grand a year! Blah! Blah! Blah!
"So you're earning how much?"
"Thirty grand...... I guess it's worth taking the 'Bulls*** eh?"
A mobile rings and one of them puts his hand in his coat pocket takes out his mobile phone and says....
"Hello.....hello
Nothing
He puts it back in his pocket
And away they go......
"Rabbit! Rabbit! Rabbit!
I could do with subtitles now
Yes...... I know their speaking English..... But at great speed!
My brain fuse box has blown a fuse!!!

08:32...... I have missed the eight twenty five and now waiting for the eight thirty five (which has now been delayed by a minute......)
Am I being anal? You bet!
Why?
Well...... I was lied to by a reliable source......
My iPhone 4S told its first lie
And how did it manage to do that I hear you ask?
Well....... I asked it, via Siri, if I would need my umbrella and it replied
"No rain insight today blah! blah! blah!
So I opened the front door only to be greeted by Mother Nature..... Heavy rain from above beating the ground and passersby struggling with their umbrella
Needless to say, I had to go back in for an umbrella!

17:17........ "Platform sixteen for the seventeen twenty National Express to blah! blah! blah!
I enter a carriage and sit near to the door, followed swiftly by a woman who sat beside me

17:16..... Just before I walk down the steps at London Liverpool Street, I head a female screeching....
"Free hot chocolates over here!"
Then a man shouting......
"Evening Standard!"
"Evening Standard!"
I didn't get either

17:00..... Homeward bound
I spot two cyclists getting tickets from....... Police officers!
I'm not quite sure what for but I'm guessing it's not having lights'
Fines? How much? I'd love to know!

9:00....... The train arrives at its destination

We stop at Stratford, the place place where everything is happening!
What with its new shopping centre, Westfield and The Olympic village...... This is the hub of Uk and I pass it every day

08:50...... A train arrives and I was able to board
I found a seat next to a middle age gentleman reading his free Metro newspaper
The carriage is like a Furness this morning, so I unbuttoned my overcoat
Opposite me is another middle age man in jeans and wearing a bubble hat
What does he f****** thinks he looks like? An overgrown toddler!

I wait patiently for its arriving only for it to mock me when it does
Why?
Well...... It arrived on time and stopped in front of me, opens its packed mouth........ Not a gap any where for me nor any other of my fellow commuters to enter!
I dares me to enter but I know this was a challenge I would not win so I mentally said "Thanks but no thanks!"

At Maryland station I was met with an announcement........
"I'm sorry, the oh eight thirty five National Express train to London Liverpool Street will be delayed by six minutes" A female voice filtering through
Tell me something new!

18:10....... National Express arrives and commuters disembark and just as they did commuters boarded
It soon fills up

08:40....... Left the office and in my way to London Liverpool station I saw two traffic wardens acting weirdly then I realised what they were doing
One had a luminous jacket over his uniform and he was standing next to a parked car (on yellow line) whilst the other one was holding a camera to his face, taking a picture! What the f***!

I'm sat opposite a middle aged casually dressed man who was quietly listening to his music through his earpiece, tapping his right hand fingers on his lap and his right foot was doing its on thing...... tap! tap! tap!
The carriage is not full. We have already passed Stratford station and shortly arriving at London Liverpool station

08:51........ I'm stood on platform one waiting for the eight fifty seven National Express train to Liverpool Street station (now delayed by one minute))
I think I'm going to get the eight twenty five tomorrow!
Why?
Asked those b***** primary school kids and their mothers/fathers on Leytonstone High Street!
F*****+ nuisance! I was zig zagging my way pass them, first to the left then to the right!
All the time....... I was doing the avoiding otherwise I would have had several collisions
A law to themselves I say!

Now I think I can face Mother Nature and venture out
Why?
After finishing my hot morning coffee I am ready for the challenge of getting to Maryland station
08:33......... I open the door, pulled my coat collar up and mentally waved my warm home goodbye

08:00....... Looking out of the back window into the garden, I see white coated layer of ice covering the grass
I decide that a hot drink is needed before venturing out this morning

08:05...... Mother Nature is not kind this morning
Why?
The moment I opened the front door, the tip of my fingers startled to tingle with 'frost bite'
Cars were covered with ice and so was the ground
I slam the door behind me and with steam raging out of my mouth, I make that walk to Maryland station

Through the barrier my companian and i head towards platform six of the Central line
Making sure we boarded the right train we check the arrival screen for the forthcoming trains
First one was to Hainault, second to Epping........ The latter it is, so we wait the ten minutes for its arrival
Six of us had originally planned for our outing but only three turned up
The Epping bound train arrivals on time, opens and invites us in
We chat amongst ourselves oblivious to passing Leyton station, Leytonstone station, Snaresbrooke, then South Woodford, Woodford and Buckhurst Hill before arriving at our destination, Louhton

So I join the queue and wait patiently for my turn
"May I have a top up of two pounds eighty on my oyster please?"
"The minimum here is five pounds" he said
"I've got a zone one to three monthly oyster but just want a return to Loughton"
"You can top up for two pounds eighty from the machine" he replied, pointing to his left
I follow the direction of his finger and there were an array of machines
"I'll have a five pound top up please"

11:54..... Stratford station queuing for a top up on my monthly oyster card
Why?
We're off to do some power walking at Epping Forest
"Excuse me, I said to a female Transport for London staff, trying to get her attention
"Excuse me...... "
"Yes?"
"Can you tell me what zone covers Loughton?"
After looking at the map she said......
"Zone six"
"Thank you"

I look out of the now immobilised train and see darkness
An annoucement comes through the tannoy from the driver
"ladies and gentleman, I'm sorry for the delay to Stratford.......blah! blah! blah!......traffic queue"
"F****** excuse as usual!

18:00..... Left the office. I arrived at London Liverpool station with a minute to spare and found a seat opposite a rather big
.... American like statuate woman (ok...... Huge woman! She was taking two seats!)
Everything about her was big......
Big hooped silver earrings!
Big handbag!
Big head!
I daren't look in her direction for fear of being engulfed by her

Today I am not so lucky. The train arrives, opens its mouth and sucks us into its already full belly. Standing room for many of us
Why is it that some commuters refuse to barge even when there is enough space nearby!
"Excuse me please, may I pass?"
A couple of blank expressions.
"Can I get through to the gap over there?" I asked politely, gesturing to the gap in question
More blank expressions
I am now thinking that I must be speaking another language and decided that action does sometimes speak louder than words so.......I nudged my way through the imbeciles!
Quite a few commuters disembark at Stratford station and I was spolit for choice (seat wise)
The train door shuts and I can see Westfield, the new shopping centre in Stratford.......Next stop is London Liverpool Street station

08:24........... As I crossed over the first set of zebra crossing towards Maryland station, I noticed one.....two......three.....and more people gathering their pace to the station entrance and I follow suit. I guessed they were aiming for the eight twentyfive National Express train to London Liverpool Street station, like my good self....... so mimicking them, I too gathered speed.
I crossed the second zebra crossing and galloped up the steps, touched in my oyster card and made my way down the remaining steps to platform one

Walking to Maryland station with full steam ahead..... Well the only steam that I could master was the one coming from my mouth!
I pass several Secondary school kids waddling to school
I say 'waddling' because of their heavy rucksacks in their backs. They chatter an inaudible chatter as they pass by, oblivious to their surroundings
"Excuse me please" says a cyclist nearly knocking me down whilst cycling on the pavement...... My pavement!
"I'm sorry!" I sarcastically replied and moved out of his way
In my world........
"No excuse you! This is my right of way! This is a pavement not the road! Pavement! Road! Me..... Pavement! You...... Road! Comprehendo?
"I'm sorry" he meekly replies dismantling
"And so you f****** should be!

08:09........ Leaving my warm home to face Mother Nature
As I close the door behind me I can see nearby stationery card glistening with glazed topping of frost on them....... Yes it is COLD!

"Hello"
"Hello to you too...... I've never seen you here before"
I replied before sitting beside him
We talk all the way past Stratford then Maryland
"I'm afraid this is where I leave you"
I stood up and bid him farewell
"Have a good evening and see you tomorrow"
"You too" he smiled and waved me off

Platform fifteen National Express to Guidea Park, calling at Stratford, Maryland....blah! blah! blah!
I only heard what I wanted to hear. I made my way to the far end of the train...... Stopping in my track when an elderly male colleague spots me and beckons me to his carriage

I made my way past Bethnal Green Road, towards Shoreditch, finally reaching Bishopesgate where a young man was handing out the free 'Evening Standard'
I walk pass without taking a paper and walk down the steps towards platforms fourteen, fifteen, sixteen....... OK, you got the gist!

The cold air hits me as I venture out of the warm office
I put on my gloves and join other pedestrians...... Some walking in front of me, some beside me, some idling behind me whilst others wait at the nearest bus stop
As I walk towards the bridge I notice a male motorcyclist standing UN front of a parked white van
He was taking a picture on a small gadget. It was only after I passed him at the van that u notice his 'Police' motorbike!
Well, I certainly wouldn't like to be in the owner of the van's shoes!
A wicked smile etched on my face
Shouldn't have parked there eh!

17:00..... Nicely wrapped up for my journey home, I bade 'Goodnight' to my colleagues and begun my journey to London Liverpool Street station
It's amazing how quickly the night blanket covers the sky leaving darkness all around

I realised that this route is more convenient that my previous route
Why? How?
Well......... Previous route entailed walking a mile (or thereabout) to Stratford station to board the overground train first to Cannonsbury station, change, then Cannonsbury station to Hoxton station. This route was a much better route to taking the underground believe you me!
However, taking the National Express from Maryland station to London Liverpool station was far the best route.........and a brisk mile and a half (or thereabout) walk to the office keeps me in ship shape 

Milling through the crowd, I finally managed to escape the maddening crowd and head towards the steps leading to the street where I was accousted by an array of people handing out free: magazines and newspapers
After getting my bearings, I begin to walk towards my destination, work  

08:40...... "Arriving at London Liverpool Street where this train will terminate"
You don't say!

08:30.... The National Express train has left and 'shortly be arriving at Stratford station
Commuters disembark, commuters embark and off we go, onward to our final destination, Liverpool station
I am sat between two bespectacled middle aged women both engrossed with their free Metro
The are two suited and booted twentysomething year old men sitting opposite me; one earplugged to his musical gadget, the other, reading the Metro

08:28...... No train...... Correction, here it comes

08:24...... I'm standing on platform one at Maryland station waiting for the eight twenty National Express train to Liverpool Street staion
The train's only other destination from Maryland Station is Stratford

Happy New Year to you all! I'm welcoming twenty twelve with open arms and an optimism of which was stolen from me in twenty eleven
"What do you mean?" I hear you ask
Well........ To sum my year in a scene similar to 24 (starring Keiffer Sutherland)
January twenty eleven..........
The untimely passing of a colleague
February twenty eleven.......
The unsettling nail biting waiting on job security
March twenty eleven........
The decision unfolds
April twenty eleven.......
A love one is diagnosed with bowel cancer
May twenty eleven........
Struggling to cope with changes around me
June twenty eleven........
Back and forth to the hospital with loved one for chemotherapy treatment
July twenty eleven........
A farewell to St Neots Cambridgeshire and hello to the east of London and a melting pot (house) of four generation in one house
August twenty eleven........
An array of birthdays and barbecues in midst of hospital appointments
September twenty eleven........
The inevitable happened........ Our  much loved one succumbed to one of man's worst enemy, cancer!
My iPhone was stolen, taken from my handbag on the bus. Memories (pictures) of my loved one lost forever!
October twenty eleven.........
A new post awaits me
November twenty eleven.......
A death defying moment when an attempt to take my life was made by a knife welding 'gentleman'
November twenty eleven.......
Getting through aches, pains, sleepless nights....... An emotional wreck!
This was the 'Straw that broke the camel's back!'
December twenty eleven........
'Celebration of life' for my loved one
A good send off party celebrating her life took place. My loved one would have been proud of her family
December thirty first twenty eleven and I gladly waved goodbye to a most heinous horribilous year, embracing twenty twelve with opened arms
I bet you wished you didn't ask now eh!!!

Train/tube tickets have gone up!
I walked the windy walk to Stratford station and queued up for my monthly
"Good morning, may I have a zone one to three top up please"
"one hundred and thirty four pounds"
He saw the look on my face
"I'm afraid it went up this morning"
That's Transport for London for you!
So I show him a false smile as I enter my card for an (i)legal rape of my finance!
"Have a good day!" I retorted in disgust
"You too"
Yeah right! And a Happy (rip off)  New Year to you too Transport for London!!!

I've put on my trainers and now racing out of 2011 fast pacing towards 2012...... I do this with a smile spread across my face 
Why?
Because I know that the good people around me who kept my spirit alive in 2011 will continue to do so in 2012 (and I in return) 
HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all xxxxx